My Opinion about How to be a Good Friend

My opinion about How to be a Good Friend

“If you want to have friends, you must show yourself friendly.”

Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won't, and you'll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one. To be a good friend and deepen a friendship to make it last, just follow these steps.

·                     Keep your promises. Don't ever make a promise that you can't keep -- or at least don't make a habit of it. If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell him or her sorry. Do not break any such promise, as that will hurt your friend.

·                     B a giver not a taker.

·                     Be dependable. Being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody likes a fake, and nobody wants one for a close friend. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually they'll stop believing what you say. If you're not sure you can do something, don't agree to do it and flake out later. Instead, be honest about the fact that you're not sure if you can make it.

·                     Apologize when you've made a mistake. If you want your friends to trust you, then you can't act like you're flawless. If you know you've made a mistake, own up to it instead of being in denial. When you say sorry, you should mean it. Let your friends hear the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you don't really care how they feel.

·                     Be honest. If you want to be a good friend and to have people trust you, then you have to be honest about your feelings, about your friends' actions, and about how you feel about your friendship. If you're honest about how you feel, that will open up direct lines of communication with your friends and will make them more likely to open up to you. If your friend hurt you, don't be afraid to talk about it; if something is upsetting you, don't feel too shy to open up to your friend about it.

·                     Be real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last.

·                     Don't use people. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you

·                     A friendship is about give and take. Sure, it may be really convenient that one of your friends gives you a ride to school every day, but make sure that you do something for that friend in return.

·                     Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep it and don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you. Don't discuss your friend behind his or her back, and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you. Part of being loyal is understanding the importance of a long-lasting and stable friendship.

·                     Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you.

·                     Be a good listener.

·                     Help your friends deal with their struggles. Let your friend know that you can give him a shoulder to cry on during this tough time. If your friend feels less alone, it'll be easier for them to deal with their troubles. If all your friend wants to do about the problem is to talk, that's fine at first, but you should help your friend find practical solutions to his problems.

·                     Learn to forgive. If you want your friendship to last, then you should be able to forgive your friend and to move forward. If you hold a grudge and let your bitterness and resentment build up, then you won't be able to move forward. Recognize that nobody's perfect and that if your friend is sincerely sorry and if he or she didn't do something too horrible, that you should move past it.

·                     Accept your friend for who he or she is.

·                     You don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.

·                     A friend who is only available at school or work is still a friend. Be very glad for that special kind of friendship associated with the place where you share time together.

·                     If your friend makes a promise and doesn't keep it then don't do the same to them or you will keep repeating the pattern.

·                     Honest communication is a basic foundation in a friendship. If you and your friend can't talk to each other freely then you are set up for a difficult and possibly doomed relationship.

·                     If your friend is starting to make new friends, don't turn jealous. No one likes a jealous friend. Have faith in your friendship. However, if your friend is ignoring you because of this friend, talk to them about it. They have no right to ditch their best friend.

·                     No one likes an insulting friend, so be careful when you tease them! If your friend asks you to stop, heed the request and stop right away. Otherwise you will end up with no one.

·                     Don't share your feelings when you know the person can't be trusted because she/he might use it against you someday.

·                     If your friend doesn't treat you well while you treat them well, then there's no reason to stay friends. Don't stay close friends with anyone who doesn't treat you well.

(source: personal opinion as well as internet)