NEW LIFE 22 AUGUST 2016

Losing Someone Special

Losing someone we care deeply about is very painful. The pain and sadness that we experience over our significant loss is really intense particularly if we really wanted to help but we can do nothing to alleviate his/her sufferings. Grief is a natural response to loss. It's the emotional suffering that we feel when something or someone we love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense our grief especially when we loss someone with death. The bottom line is to face the fact of the loss. Feeling sad and lonely is a normal reaction to our loss. Crying doesn't have to mean that we are weak. But rather showing our true feelings can help us move on. While loss affects people in different ways, many experience the following symptoms when they're grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal-including feeling like you're going crazy, feeling like you're having a nightmare or even doubting God's wisdom.
Shock and disbelief - Right after a loss, it can very difficult to accept what happened. We may have trouble believing that someone we love dearly has died. We are in self-denial stage. There even comes a time that we may keep expecting him or her to show up despite the fact that he or she is gone.
Sadness - We feel emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. We also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
Guilt - We may regret or feel guilty about things we are not able to do because of our helplessness. After a death, we even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more we could do.
Anger - We feel angry and resentful. If we lost a loved one, we may be angry with ourselves, to God, the doctors and even those persons around who were not able to help. We feel the need to blame other people over that loss.
Fear - A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. We feel anxious, helpless and even insecure. We even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about our discretion in life. What would happen now that he/she is gone?
Physical symptoms - We experience fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.
In my experience, I really suffered sleepless nights because of losing someone so special to me. Special in the sense that he appreciated and valued my worth as a person. He loved me unconditionally despite my status and even accepted my kids but we we're really not destined to each other because he passed away. We did not even started our relationship yet, and now he's gone. I am still hurting right now because of that loss. It is still painful because I was not able to help him during his heart attack. We're thousands of miles apart. I really wanted to help but I couldn't because of the distance. I'll just continue treasuring him in my heart and I will always remember that once in my life I met someone who loved me for what I am and not for who I am. This article would somehow help me in moving on and continue living life to the fullest despite his absence.

Real Happiness in Life

Real happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. However, even if you have everything the world can give such as pleasure, possessions, power except for the peace of mind, you can never be happy. The only way to find real happiness is to squander ourselves for a purpose. It is not based on how we appear to others or what others think about us but it is about how we feel about ourselves in our hearts. Happiness therefore is an internal state not an external condition. It is not about shallow things in life such as money, lifestyle, possessions, role or image. It is about who we are and how we feel about ourselves. True happiness describes a deep sense of inner well-being, peace and vitality that is with us most of the time in most circumstances. People who experience true happiness feel a deep sense of gratitude for simply being alive. We need to fundamentally change our way of being in the world and change the way we live our life. Even if we are suffering frustrations at the moment, it is still possible to attain happiness when we are able to utilize our full potential. In other words, genuine happiness is possible for all of us. There is no defect or deficiency in us that prevents us from being happy. Yet, there are things that make us fail to realize the sense of true happiness. We need to wake up and take responsibility of our feelings, actions and behaviors. Even if we commit mistakes, we only find real happiness if we acknowledge and learn from them. Although truth hurts but the joy is brings incomparable. We will find happiness the moment we start to see ourselves as being one with the whole world. No matter where we are and no matter what we do, no matter how we look and no matter how much or less we have. We will discover that happiness is not outside ourselves. It is our thoughts at this very moment. Sometimes we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have. But it is more on recognizing and appreciating what we do have no matter how little it is. As a matter of fact, happiness like anything else in life, needs to be polished and nurtured. Being happy doesn't mean we're perfect. It just means we've decided to look beyond our imperfections. Real happiness is a choice because life is not always about pleasing everybody. Thus, the secret of real happiness is accepting what we are in life and making out the best of it every day.
This article is all about what it takes to have real happiness regardless of what we have or do not have in life.

Learning From My Failure And From Others' Success

Recognizing our failures in life is very important in the learning process. Once we are able to reflect in our own mistakes, we are also able to appreciate the success experienced by others. We learn from our mistakes if we admit that we made it. Self-denial and blaming others for our failures will not help us except if we admit them and be responsible for the consequences of our actions. We can learn from our failures by not complaining. Admission makes learning possible. Brilliant people admit mistakes easily and then move forward to achieve goals. Setbacks in life is unavoidable. Even the richest and successful men on earth are not exempted to experience drawbacks in life. What's missing in many people's beliefs about success is the fact that the more challenging the goal, the more frequent and difficult problems will be. The higher our ambitions in life, the more reliant we are you on our ability to overcome and learn from our mistakes. However, admitting mistakes is very difficult. In fact, learning from our mistakes need us to put ourselves in situations where mistakes are inevitable, have the self-confidence to admit them and be courageous enough to face them and make changes. In my case, I made mistakes that have complicated causes and outcomes. Just like my decision to get married even if my parents did not approve my husband. This tough decision had a bad outcome because my marriage failed. But the good thing there was that I faced the challenge bravely. I was able to overcome my depression, learnt from my mistakes and then moved on with life. Then, I read inspirational books especially success stories. I learned that before they reached their goal, they really experienced many setbacks and trials in life. The bottom line was that they did not quit. They made these problems as their motivation to succeed. So, if they can do it, why can't I? Moreover, once we are able to recognize the problem, we can avoid doing similar mistakes. But sometimes people are stupid. They keep on doing the same without learning from them. Making mistakes require significant changes to avoid doing again. But since change is not easy to admit, we often suffer through the same mistakes again and again instead of making the crucial changes needed to avoid them. As a matter of fact, the mistakes we make define us. The more interesting and challenging the mistakes are, the more interesting life can be because we spent more time in learning from bigger mistakes. But if we habitually make stupid mistakes, there is no learning at all. Thus, refusing to acknowledge and accept our mistakes or tendencies to do the same kinds of mistakes is a refusal to acknowledge reality. This is the fact of life that each of us has no excuse. What we just need to do is admit that despite our imperfections, we still have a chance to make a change in our lives and make a difference.
I write this article because I want also to become an inspiration to others. Mistake is inevitable, so we have to admit it and then learn from it to avoid doing the same

The Essentials Of A Good Relationship

There are many successful relationships even if there are also some who failed. What really are the essentials of a good relationship? Allow me to share my perspectives. First, HONESTY is very important in a relationship to grow. It's never a good move to lie even if you are already offended, you will just pretend that everything is okay. When you're not honest, it can create major trust issues that could hinder the success of a relation even with your friends or even with your family. A relationship built on trust and honesty is indestructible. Second, HEALTHY COMMUNICATION is also very important. You have to be open with your partner. Every time something bothers you, find time to talk it out and then discuss it constructively with your partner. Focus on the solution of the problem rather than on the argument that it may cause. Third, COMPROMISE. Each partner should be prepared to meet half-way. There should be fairness and equality in the family. Matured people are willing to make a BARGAIN in order to have harmonious relationship because they trust that the other will do the same when it is their turn to make a compromise. Fourth, UNDERSTANDING. Coming from different family culture is very difficult to bridge when you are already together. What needs to be done is to understand that you only meet when you are already grownups. Trying to have a broad mind is also a good ingredient to have a healthy relation. Finally, the ability to create an EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. Intimacy here is not only purely physical; though sexual intimacy is also necessary for the love to grow. A simple word of thought cherish the feeling of LOVE. It makes you feel pleased, wanted and appreciated. APPRECIATION is very important in building emotional intimacy because no matter what you do, if your partner does not know how to acknowledge your achievements either small or big, that's the end of the relationship. What destroys a relationship is for the partner to always want to have the LAST TALK. What strengthens a relationship is the willingness to LISTEN. Any conflict will be settled immediately when each partner will give each other a chance to be HEARD. It is always a give and take process. It is also important to say SORRY but what matters most is the acceptance of the apology. Saying SORRY again and again without changing for the better is just like a cycle that would create a resentment; thereby destroying a relationship. This article talks about what I thought are the essentials of a successful relationship. When a relationship is only one-sided, it's very difficult to keep it.

When I Feel Frustrated

Trying to ignore what we feel about something makes us feel frustrated because we are not satisfied with our effort. We feel unfulfilled and if left unchecked it would eventually lead to depression. The feeling of frustration resulted from not being able to satisfy our needs, wants and desires in life. When we feel that we are out of control of the things happening in our lives, then we feel unhappy. We feel insecure and uncertain because we are afraid to face our fears. When we are in pain, we usually give up our hopes and dreams. It is easier to give up something that we are not struggling to get than continue to find ways to succeed. This should not be the case because persistence is very important during difficult times. In the event of crisis our perseverance would be our anchor to succeed. If we fail, it doesn't mean that it is already the end of the world. We just have to try harder in order to reach our goal and get what we want in life. Frustration is a feeling of disappointment or anger for not being able to get one wanted. When I am upset, usually I just keep silent and write everything I feel because I am not the violent type who would shout or throw things just because I am angry. I also cry to release all the negative feelings I have inside. But sometimes too much frustration can lead to depression. When I am trying to solve a problem, I get so wrapped up in trying to find a solution. Sometimes having many options is easy but there are also times that I am having headache just to find one alternative. There are even times that I spend my whole time worrying what would happen if I cannot do it. But once I am able to move forward, I also realize that there is no sense worrying at all. It is very important to have a positive mental attitude. When we are mentally drained, we make things appear worse than they usually are. We just need to take a break to reflect. We can understand that our frustration will just pass because a positive mind is more open to see solutions and answers than those being close-minded and feeling hopeless. When we feel that there is no hope, we stop looking for remedies because we feel that it is already useless. So, we always need to stay POSITIVE. So, to end up my frustrations in life, I relax and unwind for a while until such time that I am able to get back in track again to find new solutions to meet my unfulfilled needs.

The most beautiful things in life:

The best and most beautiful things in the world are the things that we cannot see or even touch. They must be felt with the heart. If we haven't found them yet, we have to keep on looking. The most beautiful things are those things that teach us lessons to survive and move on with life. Often, we miss these things because we fail to see the beauty of simplicity. We are blinded with worldly ways and material things. It is how we live our lives to the fullest. Each day of our lives, we are given a new chance at life which make it beautiful. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we won't let the world define us based on our physical attributes but on what God meant us to be. We can transform the world beginning with our own transformation. Starting with a good conversation with our fellow and being a good listener, we can make our lives beautiful. The thought that we are able to make other people happy in easing their burdens by simply listening to them when they open up to us is already a great sense of achievement. Sometimes it is also the other way around. When we find someone who is willing to sit and take the time to talk with us, we know we have found a good friend. Good conversations teach us to make time for others, sharing moments of goodness and creating long-lasting bonds. We are becoming emphatic not selfish. A life of peace and contentment is not visible to the naked eye, however it can be deeply felt within us. It cannot be bought but achieved. Expectations often lead to disappointment, but accepting what we have right now is one way of making our lives beautiful. It's good to be responsible in making decision but it is also good to take a risk even if it will lead to a big mistake. Last but not least is love. It is the most beautiful thing in the world because it is the greatest thing that we can give to one another. Love has the power to bridge gaps and unite enemies but I think most of us know this. However, we get so caught up in shielding the finest of a good life that we failed to notice and appreciate the intangibles; the beauty of priceless possessions in life! This article is heart-warming to read because of the value of unseen things that make our lives beautiful. It makes our lives worth living for because we are not only keen to material things but most of all in those things that make us happy and contented.